Is it Ironic?
by Flexie
Summary: "Is it ironic, or sad that the one that loves her the most, made her what she is now?"  Just a little oneshot/drabble of Merlin and Morgana post Series 4.


**Author's Note: Hi! This is my first time writing a Merlin/Morgana fic so I don't know how good it is and whether they are OOC or not. Basically this is a oneshot/drabble piece which all started when the first line randomly popped up in my head. Hopefully soon I will write another Merlin/Morgana fic because they are my OTP. I hope you enjoy this and I hope that my spelling and grammar is not too terrible. :) **

**So, read, enjoy, review if you want to.**

"Is it ironic, or just sad that the one that loved her, the most was the one that made her this way?"

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked, confused by the old sorcerer. "Don't be naive, Merlin. I have seen what others have missed, all those hidden smiles and pieces of your heart breaking at her actions. Everyone else has long stopped caring, even her own brother, but not you." "You know nothing about me," Merlin replied forcefully. A glass shattered, the first time his magic had been uncontrolled in years. They both looked at the remains of the vase. "Oh, but I do. Someone as powerful as you, well you caught my attention and I wished to offer you help if you needed it." Shaking his head he continued, "I just didn't expect it to be in the matter of love," a half smile appeared on his face. "Why does it matter? She's destined to be the darkness to my light, the hatred to my love. We couldn't be together not even if we tried," Merlin admitted his feelings aloud for the first time. He laughed, "You know, sometimes you've just got to screw destiny and do what you want!" "And that will end so well," Merlin replied incredulous. "Aithusa may have saved her from death but she still need to heal. I'll leave you to make your choice,"

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><p>Morgana was glad that her sleep had been a dreamless one, she had enough pain already. Sighing, she rubbed her eyes open. At the end of her bed she saw something that she never thought she would see. "Have you come to kill me in my sleep?" "No, milady." Merlin replied in a gentle tone and Morgana wondered if she was really awake. Merlin had not called her milady, since before he had poisoned her, nor would he be anywhere near her hovel-this all must be her imagination. A laugh escaped her lips, a rich sound that she had not made for years. "Being a gentleman before you try to kill me, how sweet." "Morgana, I'm not here to kill you," Merlin sighed; he should have known that this wouldn't be simple. "Well, why are here then?" Morgana replied in a harsh tone. "To help you," "Out of everyone in Camelot, you're the only one who cares about me enough to come visit me," Merlin didn't know what to say in response. That was a question he had asked himself many a time, why does he still care about Morgana? After all that she has done to his friends, to Camelot, shouldn't the only thing he feels for her is hatred? "But that's what I don't understand; I thought you hated me the most. You knew long before everyone else about all my plans, you knew that I was just playing a part so I could seek revenge on Uther." "I could never hate you, Morgana."<p>

She stood, circling Merlin, her head cocked to the side as if deciding her next move. She was still weak from her injuries but she could defeat the serving boy, surely this is all just some trick, an attempt to play on her emotions. Merlin seemed to understand what she was planning, "Morgana, I don't think you want to try that," "Scared are we?" Morgana taunted, looking at Merlin, whose face lacked emotion. "No." "Well then, let's make this a fair fight," Morgana passed Merlin a sword. Morgana didn't quite understand what she was doing and why? She could easily strike Merlin down with her magic but for some reason she's suggesting a sword fight. Maybe...just maybe, she wanted to give Merlin a chance, for old time's sake, for the friendship they had before he poisoned her. Merlin looked at the sword in his hand; it appeared clumsy in his hand as usual. Morgana couldn't help but see him, as the boy that came to Camelot and struck up a fight with the Prince, naive, clumsy and loveable. Morgana shook her head at the thought why is she thinking of Merlin like this, looking into his eyes brings her back to the present, his eyes seem to hold wisdom of a person double his age, hardened by what he has seen. Neither of them could be considered innocent anymore, Morgana thought bittersweetly.

"Come on, bring it." Morgana taunted a devilish smile on her lips. Merlin decided to humour her, show her how much he has changed from the boy who couldn't even properly wield a sword when he first came to Camelot. However, years of experience and natural skill ruled in Morgana's favour and Morgana soon had her sword tip at Merlin's throat, wile Merlin's sword lay on the ground just out of his reach. Without even a second thought, Merlin used his magic to free the sword of Morgana's hand. Morgana looked at Merlin, with his goofy grin, incredulous. Her expression become one of anger and hurt in a matter of seconds. "You have magic! You have had magic all this time!" Morgana lost her breath, when the implications and the realisations hit her hard. "You're Emrys. Those blue eyes, how could I have not seen it earlier?" She muttered the last part more to herself than Merlin, who seemed to be too calm for the situation, his expression seemed to be one that was prepared for this reaction from Morgana like he had imagined this moment many times before. Maybe because he has, Morgana thought, he might have once thought of, tried to tell her in his own way.

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><p>The scar had healed. Merlin ran his fingertips along it, thinking of how he had acquired it. Morgana while angry and hurt when finding out about his magic had found the sword and used that to express herself rather than her mouth. It was interesting how their relationship went from there. Merlin had left Morgana alone in her hovel. His wound bleeding, he made his way to Camelot. When Arthur asked about the injury, Merlin brushes it off as bandits that he met in the woods and he ended up getting on the wrong side of the sword. Arthur easily bought this excuse, not because he at times is the most oblivious person in Camelot but rather Merlin had annoying tendencies that could definitely lead to him ending up in that position. He muttered to Gaius a few words, about Morgana and her finding out, before collapsing on his bed.<p>

She seeks him out, one night. Her footsteps echoed in the cold hallways. She made sure that she avoided all the guards, using the most direct route to Merlin; she did grow up in this castle so she knew her way around. It was almost like he knew she was coming. He pulled her into their alcove. Morgana was unsure, why she considered it their alcove and when she began to. "Morgana, what are you doing here?" "I have been thinking, Merlin. Imagine what we could do together with our power," "Morgana, I'm not interested in trying to take over Camelot with you. Don't you think it's about time that you get another hobby?"

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><p>"What brings you to my humble home?" Morgana asked her mouth twisting into a sacrastic smile. Merlin looked almost sheepish; now that he was here he didn't know what he was doing. "It's been quiet lately, there hasn't been an attack on Camelot for awhile now." The undercurrent obvious-<em>you<em> haven't been attacking Camelot for awhile now. "I'm sure Arthur has been keeping you busy though," Morgana replied, not acknowledging what lay unspoken between them. "That's something he has never had a problem with," "Does he know about you?" Morgana blurted out, curiousity getting the better of her tact. Merlin, still remained a mystery to her it seemed, this man, who has done everything in his power to keep Arthur safe even used his magic to do so which could have got him killed, this same man was destined to be her doom. A desire to understand what made this man tick had started to eat at Morgana since she last saw Merlin. In a tired voice Merlin replied, "I do what I have to."

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><p>He goes to the lake sometimes. He still cries when he first arrives there, not for the lake or himself but the people he had loved whose finally journey had been upon its surface. First Freya, then Lancelot. When the tears dry up he just sits there looking out into the lake, listening to the peaceful silence only disturbed by the gentle sounds of nature. He should have heard her but his mind was else. She sits down next to him. They sit there in silence and Merlin just wonders how this moment could be happening. They started out as friends, destined to become enemies sealed when Merlin poisoned Morgana. He still felt a huge sense of guilt and remorse. He tried to make himself feel better, argued that it was Morgana siding with Morgause that forced him to poison her, that he had no choice but in the back of his mind, in his heart he knew that is false. Maybe, they had both lost their way. Merlin barely flinched when Agravaine's head hit the rock. He wished sometimes when he stared out at the lake that he could go back in time, back to his naive self who entered Camelot with a sense of hope and excitement. How far he had come from there, not always in the right direction though. Morgana sifts her position and Merlin looked at her for the first time, he could still see her underneath the dark clothes, the unperfect hair, was the woman that helped him hide a scared little Druid boy. This woman who makes his heart beat faster every time he sees her. He shouldn't feel this way towards her, after everything that's happened, even before everything, they were never meant to be together, according to destiny and society but when they both turn back to the lake and Morgana offers her hand, he takes it.<p>

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><p>It takes time and convincing, more than it did when Merlin revealed his magic to Arthur, to get them to welcome Morgana back into their lives. Welcome, was probably not the best word but when Arthur saw how Morgana made his best friend happy, he couldn't deny them happiness. At their wedding Arthur would joke how he was able to pick it right from the start. Merlin laughed at this thought because even he didn't know his true feelings at that time. "Yet, you never figured at about my magic until I actually showed you," Merlin retorted. "I know matters of the heart, magic not so much,"Arthur replied, holding Gwen's hand. "But for Merlin, it's the other way around," Morgana said, appearing behind her husband and kissing him softly on the lips. Merlin couldn't help but think of the words of that sorceror all that time ago. It turned out to be neither ironic nor sad because just as he had been the one to turn her into what she was, he was also the one that was able to make her become the person she was before the poison ever touched her lips.<p> 


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